Dear Midnight by Zack Grey

Dear Midnight is a poetic love letter to the darkest moments. A hello to the moon. A break from the idea that love can only be found in the daylight.

______________________

we are a
generation of
almost lovers,
gazing with
gleaming eyes
at the moon,
knowing she empathizes
with our same hearts
always missing each other
by nothing more
than those few minutes
that separate darkness
from daylight.

REVIEW

A precious story in love poems

Rating: 5 out of 5.

A beautiful flow of romantic poetry in shades of love and loss. My favorites were the little touches of symmetry like when he says “you taste like regret and i love how familiar it is” and then later, “you taste like love and i regret how familiar it is”, and the added drama of strikethrough texts, among other things. This is truly and excellent collection.

*This book was read and reviewed (in Amazon & Goodreads) in December 2019. Sorry for the late post.

Before I start sharing my goals for 2021, let me briefly talk about 2020: it was a bad year for everyone including myself and I found myself dealing with certain personal things and became somewhat overwhelmed and tried to cope. In any case, I lost interest in writing, blogging, and social media for the most part. Now that it’s 2021, have I regained my interest in them? Who knows. But I  was doing okay before, so I kinda want to (regain interest). To facilitate that, here I am setting goals for 2021…

1. New Year, New Name.

Starting 2021, the name I’ll be using for my writerly self shall be Steph Arven. I’ve decided to separate my writing stuff from my Sathepine pseudonym and channel it all to the Steph Arven persona. In case I haven’t mentioned before, Sathepine is an anagram for Stephanie, which is my real name. I’ve used it for other things, not just writing stuff. As for the Steph Arven name, we know where the “Steph” comes from, but not the Arven. Arven is a combination of my grandfathers’ names (Ar = Arceo, ven = Venancio). I hope to use this name from now on, especially in social media, even if it means I’ll lose all my previous followers now (at least, in Twitter and Instagram). But I’m not counting anyway, so it’s all good.

2. Read and review the top ten books in the 2020 Goodreads Choice Awards for: Fantasy, Science Fiction, Poetry, and Young Adult Fantasy/Sci-Fi. 

Not all these books may be to my taste but the challenge is to read what is popular, what is mainstream, what readers in general enjoyed (or at least got hyped up enough to vote for). Then we’ll see if I enjoyed them just as much. 

For books that are part of a series, I’ll only commit to reading and reviewing the first book of that series, although, of course, it would be great if I manage to read up to that book itself.

3. Read and review at least five indie novels.

I do have plans to self-publish in the future (though I’m not in a hurry as my work is a priority right now), and would like to support self-published authors. I have a condition, though, and that is I will not be posting my review of self-published books that I didn’t enjoy. So, for self-published books, at least, I’ll only be posting my review of those that I rate to be 3-stars or more. (My 3-stars rating means I enjoyed it enough to say it’s worth the time and money I spent on the book.)

4. Write at least one poem per month.

By doing this, I could hopefully ensure there’s at least one post in this blog per month. I’d really like to keep my blog active from month to month, and not just have a ton of posts at the end of the year or something (which I fear might happen). I also have some past poems that are not posted (or are privated) but I’m not sure yet if I want to post (or un-private) them. (Also, can “private” be used as a verb? lol)

5. Watch and review at least one movie or show based on a fantasy or science fiction novel.

I was planning to do this for The Witcher last year, but, well, I didn’t. This year, I could still do The Witcher (before the new season), or I can do The Expanse (I’ve been wanting to read the books and watch the show for some time now), or Dune (I’m not sure how much of the first book I’ve read but I haven’t finished it that time and hoping to read from the beginning before the movie), or Shadow and Bone (I’m excited! I didn’t really like the main character but I love the world building in this series and I hope the upcoming Netflix show does it justice!)

6. Post at least one instagram photo, and one tweet per week.

I’m gonna populate my Steph Arven social media slowly but surely… with nice things of course! And for sure I’ll be following a bunch of nice accounts too. 

7. Complete plotting the outline for my next NaNoWriMo project before November.

As I’m going the plotting (rather than pantsing) route, an outline is a must. My pantsing gets me everywhere but the ending so I feel that plotting — with a little bit of pantsing — would provide much better results for me. Ideally, I would like to finish the outline early so I can send it to someone for feedback (like I did in 2019 — thank you for the helpful feedback, Jennifer Jarrett!)

8. Win NaNoWriMo 2021.

It’s been a while since I wrote 50,000 words in one month. I’d like to do that this year. I haven’t lost in Nano yet! (Unless you consider 2020, which I didn’t even participate in — though I’m sure I would have lost it if I did — I was quite busy at work and dealing with personal issues…)

8. Turn my zero draft of COTC into a first draft.

COTC stands for “Claire of the Corpses”, which is a temporary title so I’m simply gonna label it COTC from now on. This was my project for NaNoWriMo 2019 so I have roughly 50,000 words on it. There are missing scenes, descriptions, worldbuilding elements, etc. so my goal is to fill in all of those to complete the draft. (Of course, once I have a complete first draft, I’d still have to revise that.) I plan to use Camp Nano in April for this activity.

9. Rework my TMM outline.

TMM was my project for NaNoWriMo 2018 and it stands for “The Moonseeker’s Medallion”, which is a temporary title, so, like COTC, I’m just using it as a label. It’s a huge mess. Well, it’s a bit less messy now… but still a mess! So it’s not really a priority, but I still enjoy this world so I’ll try to get it a bit more organized for Camp Nano in July. 

10. Go on a one-week “writing retreat” by myself. 

Most likely, it will be a staycation at some hotel, where my activities will only be writing, eating, and sleeping. (And some other stuff for hygiene.) We are anticipating that work will be busier this year so I probably won’t have that much energy or mood to work on my writing on normal days. So this “writing retreat” shall be my answer to that.

To be frank, I have no idea right now if these goals are modest or ambitious. In theory, I feel like they’re totally doable, but then again, I had planned to do some of them last year… yet I didn’t (grr, 2020!) What I am sure of, though, is that I’m definitely feeling hopeful and have a much brighter outlook for 2021. 

Happy New Year!

Poisoned lips

In fragrant breath

Glassy eyes

And frozen smiles

And marks

Of sudden death

Of feelings

And of blunt

Expressiveness

The soul

Is passionless

The heart’s

A bloody mess

The angry mind

Is crying out

Into the nothingness

Of selfish deeds

And selfish creeds

On poisoned lips

Craving trips

Of hushed exile

For kisses on

The demon’s smile

*This poem can also be found in my poetry book What Have You Done to the Angel which was written under Sathepine Marco.

A hand held
A shy gaze
A kiss

A love lost
A memory
You miss

Midnight
You lie awake
And reminisce

For all
You have left
Is a wish

To return to
That long-forgotten
Bliss

 

I know
What this is
What you are
And you say
There’s a cure
It won’t scar
But this cure
To the venom
Is a curse
Makes
Things
Worse
So I’ll try
Just a sip
Just a drip
And we’ll see
If it’s worth
The trip

I guess it has been available for a while now, but due to some issues that needed resolving and *life stuff* (sigh!), I’ve delayed announcing it. I hope you give it a chance and leave an honest review when you can. Without further ado, here it is:

41uhdr784el._sx311_bo1204203200_What Have You Done to the Angel?

Buy in Amazon | Buy Kindle eBook | Goodreads

What have you done to the angel?
Why have you injured her wings?
The bliss of her smile has faded.
Her hands have been soiled by your sins . . .

Inspired by personal emotions and her dark imaginations, Sathepine Marco shares a compilation of poems penned during her teenage and young adult years when she was gripped with angst, depression, and heartaches. As she leads others through her darkness, Sathepine invites introspective reflection while sharing a glimpse into her own heart and soul as she grappled with all that accompanied pain and sadness, sometimes conveying them through angels and demons with her words.

What Have You Done to the Angel? shares a thought-provoking collection of poetry that allows anyone who has suffered heartache to know that they are not alone.

Buy in Amazon | Buy Kindle eBook | Goodreads

Note: This is not a religious book, in case you may be misled because the title included the term “angel”. I am an atheist, but I prefer not to shame or judge people solely because their beliefs are different from mine, religious or otherwise. However, there are a couple of poems in the book that speaks to my struggle with faith written a long time ago. If you are curious about that, it may be worth reading, but please don’t buy it expecting it to be a religious book.

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Take a deep breath
And be brave
Sometimes it’s okay
To misbehave

I’m right here
Never far
Not afraid
Of who you are

Because i’ve glimpsed
Behind your slight
Veneer of bitterness
And I saw light

The poisoned apple pie
I’ve tried too many times
The hero of a lie
Who’s done too many crimes

The angel of pretense
Up high on golden wings
Ignoring consequence
The saint of hidden sins

And I feel nothing but
Faith in you destroyed
So speak to me not
This contract’s null and void

Blood boiling
Heart racing
Angry thoughts in my head

In the midst of white
And peaceful black
All I’m seeing is red

One thought of you
And I’m triggered

Bad memories
I’m embittered

Got the fury of
A villain mob
That won’t stop until you’re dead